CURVACEOUS OUTGOING CRICKET TEAM SEEKS MATCH-WINNING BOWLER.   GAY/STRAIGHT SMOKER WITH GSH WHO CAN LAND IT ON THE CUT BIT PREFERRED

 

WCC 192-9d

Trinity Fellows 155-6

Match drawn.

 

There were scenes of unprecedented euphoria in the visitors’ dressing room at Trinity on Monday afternoon when Mark d’Inverno announced that, on the hottest afternoon of the summer, he had won the toss and the Weekenders wouldn’t have to field in 91 degrees. After being carried shoulder high by his grateful team the captain admitted the toss had been the most anxious moment of his reign, rivalled only by the faulty fag machine scare at Roehampton in ‘01.

 

On a dry and crumbling pitch somewhat below the usual exemplary Trinity standard Maloney and Chiari fell early.  Hogben and Parker (making a welcome return after controversially spending five years on career and family) always struggled to master the unpredictable pace and bounce but gave the innings credibility. 

 

Johnstone raised his 50 runs for the season in a way that suggests he is about to go big with the bat.  Harvey went very big indeed but to the wrong ball while Husaini was unable to make the necessary mental adjustment after being stuck in a two-hour jam on the M25 and unwisely tried to text his way out of trouble.  

 

Dunne marshalled the tail magnificently and with the pitch easing the last two wickets produced 76 runs, Simmonds striding into some extravagant drives which showed off his buttocks to the delight of the ladies present.

 

After the interval the home side were soon in trouble losing four quick wickets to Douglas and d’Inverno’s opening burst.  Weekenders’ wily Wykehamist, Chiari baffled the batters with an excellent spell of flighted leggies. But the home number 3 grafted away and with the help of turncoat Weekender John Harvey (plus a let-off in the slips and a criminally slow over rate) he was able to steer his side to the brink of safety. 

 

Moments after being attacked by a flying ant which made his neck go all red and weird, Husaini swooped at square leg to snaffle an awkwardly dipping pull shot from Harvey. It was one of the best catches in recent times and with the Sydney scab on his way for an infuriating 32, and an end open, this looked like the turning point of the match.  

 

But it wasn’t.  d’Inverno shuffled his bowlers in the last twenty and, once again, the Weekenders’ lack of penetration produced a disappointing outcome.

 

We were joined in the Hat and Feathers afterwards by our supporters Kate and Minnie who were very sympathetic.

 

 

WCC 192 from 46 overs

Maloney 4, Hogben 26, Chiari 5, Parker 22, Johnstone 21, M. Harvey 4, Husaini 3, Douglas 12, Dunne 39, Simmonds 18*.  D’Inverno dnb.

Extras 38

 

Trinity Fellows 155 from 38 overs.

Douglas 11-3-25-3, d’Inverno 5-0-30-1, Dunne 7-1-24-0,  Chiari 7-2-16-2, Husaini 3-0-11-0, Simmonds 1-0-16-0, M. Harvey 2-0-11-0, Maloney 2-0-12-0.

 

Catches: 1 each, Husaini, Maloney, Dunne, Parker.