WEEKENDERS MORAL VICTORS 2ND TIME
AROUND
WCC179-6 dec
Trinity High Table 128-8
Match drawn
It is true that the more things change
the more they stay the same. Before detailing the events of 12 July 2004,
let us consider some of the highlights from last year's match report of this
fixture.
"There were scenes of unprecedented euphoria in the
visitors' dressing room at Trinity on Monday afternoon when Mark d'Inverno
announced that, on the hottest afternoon of the summer, he had won the toss and
the Weekenders wouldn't have to field in 91 degrees."
"On a dry and crumbling pitch somewhat below the usual
exemplary Trinity standard Maloney and Chiari fell early. Hogben and Parker
(making a welcome return after controversially spending five years on career
and family) always struggled to master the unpredictable pace and bounce but
gave the innings credibility."
"Johnstone raised his 50 runs for the season in a way that
suggests he is about to go big with the bat. Harvey went very big indeed but
to the wrong ball while Husaini was unable to make the necessary mental
adjustment after being stuck in a two-hour jam on the M25 and unwisely tried to
text his way out of trouble..."
"Dunne marshalled the tail magnificently and with the pitch
easing the last two wickets produced 76 runs..."
"d'Inverno shuffled his bowlers in the last twenty and, once
again, the Weekenders' lack of penetration produced a disappointing
outcome."
Now, whether intentional or not, more
than a hint of irony was present with each utterance of that now familiar
phrase, "This match report will write itself". Indeed, last
year’s report offers many clues to how this year’s match went. Perhaps
too many to be called a coincidence.
It all started out normally enough, a
gathering of fine-figured men at the Hat and Feathers. The return
of a long standing member such as Mr Black doesn't happen everyday, but enough
not to raise an eyebrow - last year it was the return of Mr Parker.
But then it started to happen, first Lyons (not texting like Husaini - but we
can put that down to age) called running late claiming traffic on the M11, then
the Skipper won the toss and put us in to bat on not the hottest day in Summer,
but possibly the coldest. Then...the pitch. Not dry and crusty, exploding
at every ball, but sticky, nay soggy, and equally as unpredictable.
So much so that when Hogben and Maloney strolled out to the wicket, all about
felt as if they would be seen again, and they were, more quickly than anyone
would have liked. First Maloney, cruelly undone by his own flawless
technique. As he explained before even making it to the change rooms,
"There was nothing wrong with the shot, in fact it was perfect, the
problem was the pitch failed to deliver up the ball at the right
time"... Hmm, often the undoing of many a Weekender, all of whom
present felt sympathy with saucily buttocked Master Chigwellian.
Sadly Hogben felt the pitch had not
failed him to such an extent and fell disappointingly, playing outside the
line. A quick review of last years report reveals a similar fate for our
own Gooch and Atherton then. But the early dismissals brought Harvey and
Johnstone to the crease, would Johnstone pass 50 runs for the season? Would
Marvel (whose big one is familiar to all regulars of this site) go big to the
wrong one?
With a difficult outfield, and even
more difficult onfield coaching by umpire Steve Dunne, the two, stocky
Australians spanked the attacked around the park bringing up the 50 in a
canter. Indeed, the coaching became so intense that Dunne started
punishing the batsmen by not calling wides "if they were going to ignore a
free hit". After resurrecting the innings, Harvey eventually fell going
for that big one from a waist high pie.
The elevated Skipper then came to the
crease to witness Johnstone's first 50 for the 'Enders. The hug in the
middle brought a wave of cheers from the crowd of 9 but the innings seemed to
falter thereafter. First the Skipper fell in swashbuckling style,
bringing Lyons in for an all too brief cameo. Then Black came in and
immediately set about turning back the clock to the
days when his knees didn't hurt and his trousers fitted.
Black quickly established his form of
yesteryear but after a few singles participated in a rather strange incident
where he pushed to mid-on, called and ran. Johnstone stood still suffering from
cramp and disinterest whilst Black, completely unable to stop, kept charging
like a raging bull and sweating mercilessly. The oppo's skipper underarmed
to the bowlers end missing anything and everything, where upon Johnstone,
clearly shaken, scampered to the other end. He never really recovered and
was out the next ball. This left Dunne, as he has done so often in the
past (and at this moment we may also refer to last year's report) to torment
the oppo by piling on a quick fire 21 which together with Black's knock, left
us with a healthy 179 at tea.
The run chase started well enough for Trinity, Douglas, a full 5 kilos lighter
than last year had that killer gleam and unleashed an exhibition of line and
length matched only by the poise and grace of Flat's spell later on.
Despite this, the runs started to mount. One opener fell early, but
Trinity kept the runs flowing until Ray d'Inverno produced a masterful
in-ducker to skittle their danger man. After Flat took one and Dunne a
spectacular 2 in a double wicket maiden, the oppo closed ranks. Sound
familiar?
Perhaps we scored to many? Perhaps we shouldn't have batted first?
Who
knows? The Weekender's were once again faced with an opposition whose
constitution is to be found rooted deeply in considered scholarly
rationalism. Whereas the Ender's are more than prepared to throw
scholarly rationalism on the dung heap only to snatch defeat from the jaws
of an inglorious draw and graciously acknowledge that the game was the
victor, Trinity decided on a blocking duel in a vain attempt to produce a
slumberous state in all of us and enable them to sneak of the pitch
unsighted.
Just as last year, the bowlers were
masterfully shuffled,Douglas bowling legbreaks one over and then to a slip
cordon Glen McGrath would cherish the next knocked over a few whilst the Coach
took one but then grew frustrated as a grey shirted debutant managed to get all
and sundry between himself and the ball. Needless to say, the relentless
gifts of pies, cakes, sausage rolls and roast beef sandwiches were each viewed
by Trinity as a poisoned chalice, to be avoided at all costs, as they limped to
a draw which nobody seemed to keen to celebrate.
In the end, there was a winner, we know who, but there's no need to gloat.
I'll probably be the same next year.
Statistics
Maloney 2; Hogben 0; Harvey, M 30; Johnners 65; d'Inverno, M 8; Lyons 2;
Black 31*; Dunne 21*; dnb Douglas; d'Inverno, R; Simmonds;
179-6 dec.
trinity high table 123-8 match drawn
d'Inverno, R 8-0-41-1
Douglas 16-3-45-3
Simmonds 3-1-7-1
Dunne 4-3-2-2
Black 4-0-19-0
Maloney 5-1-6-1
Catches Johnners 2 and Lyons
CJ