WEEKENDERS LEFT WEEPING ROUND THE PHOTOCOPIER BY TELLY PROFESSOR

 

Result: Weekenders LOST by 7 wickets

 

WCC: 116 all out (35.3 overs)

Shimoga 12, Leal 6, Hamilton-Pike 2, Hogben 20, Vishwakarma 45, Smee 1, Sharma 5, Lyons 18 n.o, Orwell 0, Douglas 1, d’Inverno 0

 

Davis 2-3, Clarke 2-20, Fryer 2-23, (13 overs & 5 maidens)

 

HoM: 119 for 3 (18 overs)

Orwell 4–0-37-1, Douglas 4-1-14-0, Sharma 3-0-27-0, Shimoga 5-0-13-0,  Raj 3–0-16-2, 

Jordan 63 not out, Kearns 25

 

Catch: Shimoga

 

“A bad day at the office” is an oft-deployed epigram by elite sports teams after an unexpected collective failure. However, my worst day at the office (where I so angered Sir David Attenborough that his lawyer threatened to blacklist my entire BBC department), pales in comparison with our abject effort at Hit or Miss this year.

 

We arrived with an unusually strong squad against a side we’d comprehensively beaten last year. It’s hard to know where it all went wrong, but the batsmen will say it started with an unreliably slow / low pitch. Shimoga scooped a catch, Leal ran himself out and debutant Evan briefly looked the part, before skying a leading edge. To recover, Vishwakarma played one of his trademark innings filled with effective idiosyncrasy, including frequent one-handed sweeps. Supported by Hogben, the score crept towards respectability, but the tail offered little else. Lyons pushed the total into three figures with some stylish biffs to the boundary for the ‘Enders to reach 118 all out.

 

Over the tea interval, we considered our options for defending such a small total but decided to fill up on cake instead. The Hitters lost an opener early-doors but then released ‘Jordan’ at number three. Their left-handed first-drop choice was making his debut for the Hit, and judging by the snug fit of his jumper, may have been his first match in some time. But the recruit from the nearby National Film & Television School relentlessly swatted our bowlers to the boundary, including a straight-six off a length ball from your hapless correspondent. Batting hero Raj restored some collective esteem with his tricky spinners, but all to soon, the ‘Enders were forced to put on their Out of Office, and head to the pub.

 

Man of the Match: Raj Vishwakarma